Writing Myth #2

Today's post will address another writing myth I hear very often.

Myth #2: I write better at the last minute.

This is the context in which I have most often heard this statement uttered: a student comes to me to have his essay checked. It is the day before the assignment is due. The draft of the essay the student hands to me is incomplete. The student may have written as little as a thesis statement. The research used in the essay (if any) has not been cited. The draft is riddled with empty phrases and grammatical errors. I point out these weaknesses to the student and inquire as to how he expects to polish this turd of an essay by the next day's deadline. He then says, "It's ok. I tend to write better at the last minute."

I know what students mean when they say this: deadlines are very motivating. The faster a deadline approaches, the more motivated students feel to grind out academic essays. Totally understandable. However, Nobel Prize-winning composition skills don't magically materialize under duress. All students possess the same writing skills on day one of an assignment as they do on day 10. If you commonly wait until the day before an assignment is due to begin the writing process, that may be why you're falling far short of earning those A's you want.

Notice I said "begin the writing process." Many A-earning students wait until the day before a deadline to put the first draft of their essays on paper, but that's Step 6 in an eight-step process. Many of the students (like the one in my example above) who claim to write better the day before a deadline are waiting until then to begin the ENTIRE writing process. And by then, it is too late.

So what does the Grammar Nazi do? For a standard 5-page essay, I take 2 to 3 days before the assignment deadline to actually write. The process, however, begins way before that. The moment I receive the assignment instructions, I begin thinking about how I will approach the essay. I immediately make notes on the assignment sheet about possible subject matter and ideas for my thesis statement. I then take the next few days to formulate and refine the thesis statement. (I often write a second thesis statement as a backup in case my first one turns out to be tragically weak, incompatible with the assignment, or insupportable.) Once the thesis statement is to my liking, I spend 1 to 2 days on research. (A day equals 4 to 6 hours in the library. Yes, that's it, because I know what to look for and, usually, how to find it.) I then take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour to draft my outline. When that is done, I am prepared to write.

Now, try cramming that entire process into a single 24-hour day and you can see how it quickly becomes overwhelming. This is what many students do: they refuse to think about the assignment until they can no longer ignore the encroaching deadline. Under stress, they throw together a semi-cohesive thesis statement, pull a couple of quick sources from the Web, and stay up all night frantically typing anything relevant that comes to mind. Is it any wonder that bad grades typically result from this approach to writing?

Many elements must be present in stellar composition: correct grammar and punctuation, writing that's cohesive and stays on topic, a solid thesis statement, a well-reasoned argument, and academic research. A student that is stressed out and sleep deprived from starting an assignment at the eleventh hour is incapable of ensuring the quality of all those elements, even with Spell-check at their disposal. Writing stellar essays means starting the writing process soon after receiving the assignment--even if that means just taking a few days to think about a plan of action.

And for goodness sake, GET SOME SLEEP!

Writing Concisely

Writing concisely is probably the most difficult skill to learn. It requires having a solid, mature vocabulary. It means boiling ideas down to their most basic and powerful elements and then expressing them in the simplest grammatical terms. Writing concisely, therefore, takes a good deal of practice to master. However, it is the most desired element in academic composition.

Many students shy away from writing concisely--not because of its difficulty, but because they think that doing so will prevent them from achieving the essay's length requirement. They stretch their sentences out as far as possible, breaking one word into two or three words when they can and adding additional modifying phrases. However, there are several problems with this approach to achieving length:

a. The essay usually sounds like it was written by a kindergartner.

b. The sentences are so long and convoluted, their meanings are obscured or confused.

c. The phrasing is painfully awkward.

d. Content is sacrificed in the process.

Need length? Expand your argument and dig deeper into your research for evidence and supporting details. Professors set length requirements for this very reason--to force students to become extremely familiar with a subject by developing, and then defending, a sophisticated argument.

Where does length rate on most professors' grading scales? I'll show you:

1. Student correctly followed the assignment instructions (i. e., developed an argument that was on topic).

2. Student fully addressed the writing prompt.

3. Student presented a clear and valid thesis.

4. Student addressed and defended all aspects of his or her thesis.

5. Student's research and supporting material was valid, used appropriately, and met academic standards.

6. Research was properly documented (no plagiarism occurred).

7. Student demonstrated good use of vocabulary and committed few grammatical errors.

8. Student achieved required length.

That's right. Out of all the essay's elements, length rates nearly last in importance. Nearly all professors who determine that a student was spot on with elements 1 through 7 won't care much if an essay is half a page shorter than the required length. So why waste time writing like a kindergartner?

Writing concisely means examining each sentence and determining if it can be phrased in a simpler, more powerful way. In effect, it means streamlining your sentences so that they flow well and deliver your ideas like a punch to the jaw. Achieving conciseness can mean completely rephrasing a sentence, replacing a phrase with a single word that has the same meaning, or simply cutting unnecessary words and phrases from the essay.

Examples

Original: In order to pass the new environmental bill, senators must work hard to rally the support of their constituents.

Rewrite: To pass the new environmental bill, senators must rally their constituents' support.


Original: Macbeth should not have murdered Duncan. Doing so was a mistake.

Rewrite: Macbeth committed a grave error when he murdered Duncan.


Original: The novel's protagonist travels here and there throughout the desert, eventually meeting up with the antagonist who promptly swindles him out of all his money.

Rewrite: The novel's protagonist wanders aimlessly through the desert until he meets the antagonist, who then swindles him and takes all of his money.


See the difference?

Writing Myth #1

Working as a tutor, I often hear strange opinions and assumptions about academic writing. I call these "writing myths". Today, I'd like to address the one I hear most often.

Myth #1: I must agree with my professor's point-of-view on this topic in order to get an "A" on my essay.

To say this is a myth is to invite some backlash. I know half a dozen people are out there claiming, "But I had this one professor who..." Yeah, I've those stories. And some of them are legit. But it's an egotistical snot rag of a professor who will flunk an essay just because he disagrees with a student's view. After all, higher education is about learning to think for yourself.

So why does this myth still get so much press? It has to do with students having a skewed perspective. If you think your professor is flunking you for expressing a different opinion, consider the following:

1. Students often form arguments around their misinterpretation of a text. When this happens, professors--who know the text forwards and backwards--simply give the appropriate grade and move on.

2. The student may have failed to develop or fully support his argument. If this is the case, you can guarantee the dreaded red ink will make an appearance.

3. The student expressed an opinion instead of developing an argument--an automatic death sentence for an essay's grade. For more on the difference between an opinion and an argument, read Building an Argument.

4. The professor has spent more time and research developing his or her view. Students who wish to present an opposing view had best do their homework and make it convincing.

5. The student may have misunderstood the essay assignment or failed to fully address the writing prompt. If that's the case, even agreeing with the professor's views won't help. You can read more about understanding the assignment in The Writing Process, Part 1.

Many times, students claim they received a bad grade for "disagreeing" with their professors, when another factor was really to blame. Most professors want students to think for themselves. After all, innovation derives from free thinking. However, professors must also uphold academic standards of research to ensure that any new ideas emerging in a particular discipline are valid and useful. Presenting a new idea always carries some risk, but it can be a risk worth taking. If your argument holds up under scrutiny, you could walk away with that oh-so-coveted "A".

On the other hand, there are a few egotistical snot rags out there giving out bad grades to free-thinking students. If your essay falls victim to one of these professors, you do have some recourse:

a. Ask your professor to explain, in detail, why you received a bad grade.

b. If he or she refuses to explain, or the explanation is unsatisfactory, take your essay--along with the instructions and writing prompt--to two other professors in the SAME department, preferably ones who teach the same or similar course. Explain the situation and ask them for their professional opinions.

c. If you receive positive feedback, ask if they would be willing to put it in writing. Then take your essay, their comments, instructions and prompt to the department chair.

d. Explain the situation to the department chair. Allow him or her time to review your essay and the other professors' comments. If he or she agrees the grade is unwarranted, ask him or her to speak to your professor. If the answer is "no", ask if you can file a formal complaint with the department instead.

e. Encourage other complaining classmates to do the same.

In some cases, following this procedure can get a bad grade on a GOOD essay reversed. It can also anger and annoy your professor--so don't try it unless you're 100% sure you're getting a raw deal. However, YOU paid for the course. If you're fulfilling all of the class requirements, you deserve to pass. Also, as the guardians of the academic world, professors should be held accountable. Sometimes, it's ok to challenge the status quo.

Fortunately, I've never had to do it.

Building an Argument

Once while giving a presentation on academic writing, I stated that essays should be relatively free of opinion. Immediately, a student asked, "But isn't the thesis statement basically the writer's opinion on a subject?"

Well, yes. And no.

An opinion is simply a belief that a person holds. It can be rational or irrational, supported or unsupported by fact. An opinion can develop from any type of influence or no influence at all.

A thesis statement, however, is a logical, well-structured argument that is formed after a student has thoroughly analyzed a subject, problem, or text. It MUST be supported by a well-reasoned argument based on research and evidence. Therefore, a thesis statement is not simply an opinion.

Building and supporting an argument is perhaps the toughest challenge of writing any essay. Many students struggle to do it and fall short--mainly because they are never taught how to create an argument of college-level sophistication. However, building a solid argument has been boiled down to a practical formula:

Essay Body Paragraph

Sentence 1: Topic sentence--introduces the point, focus, or argument for that paragraph ONLY.

Sentence 2: Explanation or expansion of the topic.

Sentence 3-4: Crux of argument (may include quote from text or expert.)

Sentence 5: Explanation/interpretation of quote in the previous sentence, or example from text that demonstrates or supports argument.

Sentence 6: Explanation of example provided in previous sentence, or concluding thought on the quote explained in previous sentence.


...Or to break it down even more simply: statement, example, interpretation/explanation, conclusion (in that order).


I will provide an example of this formula at work in an excerpt from one of my own college essays:

The most notable aspect of Douglass’s Narrative is the way in which Douglass redefines Christianity. (Topic) This indeed involves psychological strategy, as Douglass constructs his perspective of Christianity through the “othering” of the southern slaveholders’ beliefs and behaviors. (Expansion of Topic + Crux) In the process of “othering”--as described by Toni Morrison, the Nobel Prize-winning author--one standard of behavior is described and, in Douglass’s case, shown to be undesirable. (Expert definition + Explanation) Its presence in the text then serves to define and highlight its more desirable opposite (16-17). (Further explanation) This process is most visibly seen in Douglass’s account of the Sabbath school, which he taught while working for Mr. Freeland. (Example from text) He says,

"It was necessary to keep our religious masters at St. Michael’s unacquainted with the fact, that, instead of spending the Sabbath in wrestling, boxing, and drinking whiskey, we were trying to learn to read the will of God; for they had much rather see us engaged in those degrading sports, than to see us behaving like intellectual, moral, and accountable beings. My blood boils as I think of the bloody manner in which Messrs. Wright Fairbanks and Garrison West...rushed in upon us with sticks and stones, and broke up our virtuous little Sabbath school...all calling themselves Christians!" (1924-25) (Quote illustrating example)

Here, Douglass draws attention to the discrepancy between the slaveholders’ profession of faith and their behavior. (Interpretation of quote) While many of his masters make long prayers and preach revivals, they ultimately use their beliefs as “a dark shelter under, which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of slaveholders find the strongest protection” (1923). (Logical conclusion based on interpretation + additional supporting quote)


Benefits of following this formula:

1. Thesis statement is always well-supported.

2. Argument is clearly defined and explained.

3. Writing flows well and STAYS ON TOPIC!

4. Meaningless repetition and empty statements are avoided.

5. You will have written a stellar essay.

Grammar Lesson #2: Fragments and Run-ons

Now that we have defined what a sentence is, I can tell you about fragments and run-ons and how to correct them. Remember that out of all grammatical errors, professors generally consider fragments and run-ons to be the worst offenders. So if you must remember anything, remember this lesson.

Fragment: an incomplete sentence, as defined by the following:

1. A sentence in which the subject noun or verb is missing, OR
2. A sentence that is missing a part that would logically complete its meaning, OR
3. An instance in which a subordinate clause has been left to stand on its own (which it cannot do).

Examples
* Steve Jobs discussing company projects. (Problem: missing "is".)
* Although he had a date. (Problem: subordinate clause. Missing rest of thought.)

Now, let me say this: we speak (and, therefore, write) in fragments fairly often. It's natural. When speaking, a person creates a context of understanding with another person that removes the need to use complete sentences. We all understand the meaning of certain fragments, such as "Not good enough" and "Too much!" For this reason, fragments are often used in creative writing to create a conversational style.

However, academic writing is different. Using fragments in an essay, even conversational ones, can make your essay sound too casual. Remember, academic writing is all about formality and professionalism. It's also about grammatical correctness, and fragments are never grammatically complete.

So, how do you catch a fragment? The best way is to read your paper aloud before starting the revision process. Ears are much more adept at catching grammatical errors than eyes. When you find a fragment, evaluate it to determine what is missing and then add the missing elements.


Run-on: an instance in which two or more sentences run together without being separated by end punctuation.

Notice I said END punctuation. Sentences separated by commas are still run-ons.

Examples
* President Obama angered several senators after he was elected he said he would eliminate pork barrel projects.
* Children should eat healthier, obesity could kill them.

Run-ons are difficult to read and tolerate. Readers naturally NEED to pause briefly in reading to process information, and end punctuation provides that essential pause. Punctuation also groups information into logical chunks that can be easily processed by the brain. Run-ons cause confusion and frustrate readers. Leaving run-ons uncorrected is a sloppy and inconsiderate thing to do, which is why professors grade them so harshly.

For example, notice the confusion of logic in the first run-on example sentence. Should the missing punctuation go after "senators" or after "elected"? The reader has to cease processing the sentence's information to figure it out. Forget about the argument you were building in your essay; the reader is now busy trying to mentally fix your sentences. If readers have to do this more than twice while reading your essay, what do you think they'll be more likely to remember afterward: your argument or their frustration? I know what your professor will remember!

Writing run-ons is like trying to sell a scratched sports car. The car may have a fantastic interior and raging horsepower. However, the first thing the car's potential buyers are going to notice is the scratches. If the scratches are bad enough, no one may offer to buy the car, no matter how great the engine or how low the price. Appearance is worth something. A polished exterior sells a great car. A polished essay sells a great argument. Grammatical errors are insanely distracting.

Correcting run-ons is fairly easy. First, know what a sentence is (as explained in Lesson #1). Second, read your essay aloud. If a sentence sounds jumbled, stop and look for where end punctuation is needed. Any sentence that causes you to stop and try to "figure out" the logic either needs to be punctuated or rephrased. If you run out of breath reading a sentence aloud or if you eyes get tired reading a sentence silently, those may be signs of a run-on. No sentence should ever be over four typed lines. Keeping sentences as short and concise as possible will eliminate most, if not all, run-ons.

In the meantime, keep up the good write!

Grammar Lesson #1: Sentences

Since this IS the Grammar Nazi's blog, I figured it was time for a grammar lesson. Today's focus: sentences.

Now before you roll your eyes and say, "Well, of course I know what a sentence is!", let me just say this: if everyone knew what a sentence really was, they would know when to use periods. By this statement, you can infer that many writers out there aren't using periods when they're supposed to. The two grammatical errors that are sure to kill any essay grade are run-on sentences and sentence fragments. But to recognize, repair, and avoid run-ons and fragments--as well as knowing where to put commas--you must first understand what a sentence is.

A complete sentence is defined by the following:

1. It contains a subject noun and a verb (either or both can be compound).
2. It is a clause that can logically stand alone (no need for other phrases or clauses).
3. It has some type of end punctuation.

That's it. No other requirements, no silly guessing games. Now, let's define our terms:

1. Subject Noun: considered the subject, actor, or "doer" in the sentence. (A noun in general is a person, place, object or idea--a definition you may remember from your middle school days.)

Example: The sun shines.

Verb: the action or state of being in the sentence. There are eight (8) main state-of-being verbs: am, is, are, was, were, be, being and been. Nearly all other verbs are action verbs.

Example: The sun shines.


2. Clause: a phrase (group of words) that contains a subject noun and a verb. There are two types of clauses: independent and subordinate. Independent clauses are always complete sentences because they can stand alone.

Example: The sun shines

Subordinate clauses cannot stand alone despite having a subject noun and a verb. They contain what's called "subordinating conjunctions" (although, after, before, because, if, until, while, though, etc.) and "relative pronouns" (that, who, whom, whose, which, where, when, and why).

Example: Although the sun shines, I feel miserable. (Notice that a independent clause had to be added to complete the sentence.)


3. End punctuation: question mark, period, or exclamation point. These are the ONLY types of end punctuation. Commas, colons and semicolons CANNOT end a sentence.


Now we can move on to sentence types. There are four types of sentences: simple, compound, complex and compound-complex.

a. Simple: one (1) independent clause. Again, either the subject noun or the verb (or both) can be compound.

Examples
* The sun shines.
* The sun and moon wax and wane in their time.

b. Compound: two (2) independent clauses, joined by either a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, or, but) or a semicolon (;).

Examples
* The sun shines, but the moon glows.
* The sun shines; the moon glows.

c. Complex: one (1) independent clause plus one or more (1+) subordinate clauses. Some subordinate clauses are set off with a comma, while others are not. (Subordinate clauses shown in bold below.)

Examples
The shirt that I like is on sale.
Although that shirt is on sale, I have no money to buy it.

d. Compound-Complex: two (2) independent clauses plus one or more (1+) subordinate clauses. Guaranteed to require at least one comma or semicolon. (Subordinate clauses shown in bold below.)

Examples
The shirt that I like is on sale, but I have no money to buy it.
Although they both love pizza, Allan prefers pepperoni, and Jake wants mushroom.


That's it for sentences. If you have any questions, please post them in the comments section. The next grammar lesson will cover fragments and run-ons.