Writing Concisely

Writing concisely is probably the most difficult skill to learn. It requires having a solid, mature vocabulary. It means boiling ideas down to their most basic and powerful elements and then expressing them in the simplest grammatical terms. Writing concisely, therefore, takes a good deal of practice to master. However, it is the most desired element in academic composition.

Many students shy away from writing concisely--not because of its difficulty, but because they think that doing so will prevent them from achieving the essay's length requirement. They stretch their sentences out as far as possible, breaking one word into two or three words when they can and adding additional modifying phrases. However, there are several problems with this approach to achieving length:

a. The essay usually sounds like it was written by a kindergartner.

b. The sentences are so long and convoluted, their meanings are obscured or confused.

c. The phrasing is painfully awkward.

d. Content is sacrificed in the process.

Need length? Expand your argument and dig deeper into your research for evidence and supporting details. Professors set length requirements for this very reason--to force students to become extremely familiar with a subject by developing, and then defending, a sophisticated argument.

Where does length rate on most professors' grading scales? I'll show you:

1. Student correctly followed the assignment instructions (i. e., developed an argument that was on topic).

2. Student fully addressed the writing prompt.

3. Student presented a clear and valid thesis.

4. Student addressed and defended all aspects of his or her thesis.

5. Student's research and supporting material was valid, used appropriately, and met academic standards.

6. Research was properly documented (no plagiarism occurred).

7. Student demonstrated good use of vocabulary and committed few grammatical errors.

8. Student achieved required length.

That's right. Out of all the essay's elements, length rates nearly last in importance. Nearly all professors who determine that a student was spot on with elements 1 through 7 won't care much if an essay is half a page shorter than the required length. So why waste time writing like a kindergartner?

Writing concisely means examining each sentence and determining if it can be phrased in a simpler, more powerful way. In effect, it means streamlining your sentences so that they flow well and deliver your ideas like a punch to the jaw. Achieving conciseness can mean completely rephrasing a sentence, replacing a phrase with a single word that has the same meaning, or simply cutting unnecessary words and phrases from the essay.

Examples

Original: In order to pass the new environmental bill, senators must work hard to rally the support of their constituents.

Rewrite: To pass the new environmental bill, senators must rally their constituents' support.


Original: Macbeth should not have murdered Duncan. Doing so was a mistake.

Rewrite: Macbeth committed a grave error when he murdered Duncan.


Original: The novel's protagonist travels here and there throughout the desert, eventually meeting up with the antagonist who promptly swindles him out of all his money.

Rewrite: The novel's protagonist wanders aimlessly through the desert until he meets the antagonist, who then swindles him and takes all of his money.


See the difference?