Writing Concisely

Writing concisely is probably the most difficult skill to learn. It requires having a solid, mature vocabulary. It means boiling ideas down to their most basic and powerful elements and then expressing them in the simplest grammatical terms. Writing concisely, therefore, takes a good deal of practice to master. However, it is the most desired element in academic composition.

Many students shy away from writing concisely--not because of its difficulty, but because they think that doing so will prevent them from achieving the essay's length requirement. They stretch their sentences out as far as possible, breaking one word into two or three words when they can and adding additional modifying phrases. However, there are several problems with this approach to achieving length:

a. The essay usually sounds like it was written by a kindergartner.

b. The sentences are so long and convoluted, their meanings are obscured or confused.

c. The phrasing is painfully awkward.

d. Content is sacrificed in the process.

Need length? Expand your argument and dig deeper into your research for evidence and supporting details. Professors set length requirements for this very reason--to force students to become extremely familiar with a subject by developing, and then defending, a sophisticated argument.

Where does length rate on most professors' grading scales? I'll show you:

1. Student correctly followed the assignment instructions (i. e., developed an argument that was on topic).

2. Student fully addressed the writing prompt.

3. Student presented a clear and valid thesis.

4. Student addressed and defended all aspects of his or her thesis.

5. Student's research and supporting material was valid, used appropriately, and met academic standards.

6. Research was properly documented (no plagiarism occurred).

7. Student demonstrated good use of vocabulary and committed few grammatical errors.

8. Student achieved required length.

That's right. Out of all the essay's elements, length rates nearly last in importance. Nearly all professors who determine that a student was spot on with elements 1 through 7 won't care much if an essay is half a page shorter than the required length. So why waste time writing like a kindergartner?

Writing concisely means examining each sentence and determining if it can be phrased in a simpler, more powerful way. In effect, it means streamlining your sentences so that they flow well and deliver your ideas like a punch to the jaw. Achieving conciseness can mean completely rephrasing a sentence, replacing a phrase with a single word that has the same meaning, or simply cutting unnecessary words and phrases from the essay.

Examples

Original: In order to pass the new environmental bill, senators must work hard to rally the support of their constituents.

Rewrite: To pass the new environmental bill, senators must rally their constituents' support.


Original: Macbeth should not have murdered Duncan. Doing so was a mistake.

Rewrite: Macbeth committed a grave error when he murdered Duncan.


Original: The novel's protagonist travels here and there throughout the desert, eventually meeting up with the antagonist who promptly swindles him out of all his money.

Rewrite: The novel's protagonist wanders aimlessly through the desert until he meets the antagonist, who then swindles him and takes all of his money.


See the difference?

Grammar Lesson #2: Fragments and Run-ons

Now that we have defined what a sentence is, I can tell you about fragments and run-ons and how to correct them. Remember that out of all grammatical errors, professors generally consider fragments and run-ons to be the worst offenders. So if you must remember anything, remember this lesson.

Fragment: an incomplete sentence, as defined by the following:

1. A sentence in which the subject noun or verb is missing, OR
2. A sentence that is missing a part that would logically complete its meaning, OR
3. An instance in which a subordinate clause has been left to stand on its own (which it cannot do).

Examples
* Steve Jobs discussing company projects. (Problem: missing "is".)
* Although he had a date. (Problem: subordinate clause. Missing rest of thought.)

Now, let me say this: we speak (and, therefore, write) in fragments fairly often. It's natural. When speaking, a person creates a context of understanding with another person that removes the need to use complete sentences. We all understand the meaning of certain fragments, such as "Not good enough" and "Too much!" For this reason, fragments are often used in creative writing to create a conversational style.

However, academic writing is different. Using fragments in an essay, even conversational ones, can make your essay sound too casual. Remember, academic writing is all about formality and professionalism. It's also about grammatical correctness, and fragments are never grammatically complete.

So, how do you catch a fragment? The best way is to read your paper aloud before starting the revision process. Ears are much more adept at catching grammatical errors than eyes. When you find a fragment, evaluate it to determine what is missing and then add the missing elements.


Run-on: an instance in which two or more sentences run together without being separated by end punctuation.

Notice I said END punctuation. Sentences separated by commas are still run-ons.

Examples
* President Obama angered several senators after he was elected he said he would eliminate pork barrel projects.
* Children should eat healthier, obesity could kill them.

Run-ons are difficult to read and tolerate. Readers naturally NEED to pause briefly in reading to process information, and end punctuation provides that essential pause. Punctuation also groups information into logical chunks that can be easily processed by the brain. Run-ons cause confusion and frustrate readers. Leaving run-ons uncorrected is a sloppy and inconsiderate thing to do, which is why professors grade them so harshly.

For example, notice the confusion of logic in the first run-on example sentence. Should the missing punctuation go after "senators" or after "elected"? The reader has to cease processing the sentence's information to figure it out. Forget about the argument you were building in your essay; the reader is now busy trying to mentally fix your sentences. If readers have to do this more than twice while reading your essay, what do you think they'll be more likely to remember afterward: your argument or their frustration? I know what your professor will remember!

Writing run-ons is like trying to sell a scratched sports car. The car may have a fantastic interior and raging horsepower. However, the first thing the car's potential buyers are going to notice is the scratches. If the scratches are bad enough, no one may offer to buy the car, no matter how great the engine or how low the price. Appearance is worth something. A polished exterior sells a great car. A polished essay sells a great argument. Grammatical errors are insanely distracting.

Correcting run-ons is fairly easy. First, know what a sentence is (as explained in Lesson #1). Second, read your essay aloud. If a sentence sounds jumbled, stop and look for where end punctuation is needed. Any sentence that causes you to stop and try to "figure out" the logic either needs to be punctuated or rephrased. If you run out of breath reading a sentence aloud or if you eyes get tired reading a sentence silently, those may be signs of a run-on. No sentence should ever be over four typed lines. Keeping sentences as short and concise as possible will eliminate most, if not all, run-ons.

In the meantime, keep up the good write!

The Writing Process, Part 2

#4. Research.

Now that you have your thesis statement, you can begin research.

Why write a thesis statement first? Because it will save you from digging through tomes of information that you'll never use. The library is overflowing with volumes on the Civil War. If you know in advance that you are writing about the war's leaders, you can skim right over the books and chapters on the war's causes, race issues, etc. Knowing what you need will help you (and the librarian) find it quickly.

Research can also reveal if your thesis statement is too weak or insupportable. In that case, revising your thesis is usually an easy task.

When you find a quote or a fact you want to use in your essay, write it on a note card and label it so you know where it came from.

Also, write the sources you find on a sheet of paper or on separate note cards. Include the full name(s) of the author(s), publication title, article title, editor's full name, volume and/or issue number, publication date or copyright year, press name and city of publication, page number(s) that contain the information you want to use, Web URL, and the date you accessed the information. Not all sources will have (or require) all of this information. The point is to write down as much identifying information about the source as possible so you can correctly format your Works Cited page without having to look up the source again.

More on research later.

#6. Develop an Outline.

So you have a stellar thesis statement and some hard-hitting facts. Time to make an outline!

What's that? Your professor doesn't require an outline? Well, I do. So make one.

The ten minutes you spend making an outline will save you hours of writing on your draft. An outline organizes your points in a clear, logical fashion so you don't have to stop after every sentence and wonder what comes next. With an outline, you won't wander off topic or leave anything out. It will be the anchor you cling to when you're braindead at 3 a.m.

Start by writing the title of your essay at the top of a sheet of paper, followed by your thesis statement. Now write Roman numerals I, II, III and so on at the left-hand margin. These will represent your MAIN points or paragraph topics. The first and last points are always your introduction and conclusion respectively.

Let's say you're writing that Civil War paper. Your outline would look like this:

How Grant, Jackson, and Lincoln Affected the Outcome of the Civil War

Thesis: The actions of Ulysses S. Grant, General Stonewall Jackson, and Abraham Lincoln shaped the outcome of the Civil War in profound, surprising ways.

I. Introduction
II.Ulysses S. Grant
A.
B.
III. Stonewall Jackson
A.
B.
IV. Abraham Lincoln
A. Freed the Slaves
1.
2.
B.
V. Conclusion

See those A's and B's? Those are SECONDARY points that support the main points. (I filled in one as an example.) The small 1's and 2's contain information that explains the secondary points. You can expand your outline as far as you want or need, and can even write out the points as full sentences instead of phrases.

Does the Grammar Nazi write an outline every time? Yes, she does!

#6. Write the first draft.

At last, you can sit down and write! With your assignment instructions, thesis statement, and outline GLUED TO YOUR ARM, this should be a much less painful process.

Most students start by writing the introduction (with the thesis statement as the LAST sentence in the paragraph) and finish with the conclusion. But you don't have to write that way. If you're itching to tackle the heart of your essay, you CAN write the body first! Just make sure all the parts are in the correct order before you submit your essay.

Oh, before I forget: SAVE, SAVE, SAVE your essay to YOUR computer (not the library's) or storage device every few minutes. A glitch, power outage, or an accidental click on the program's "Close" button could wipe out all your work. And then you'll cry.

#7. Format the Works Cited page.

As you wrote the first draft, you should have cited any researched information with the author's last name and page number in parenthesis (or in a footnote). The Works Cited page provides the full source details for that information. First, know what documentation style you are using: MLA, APA, etc. (Some professors require their own unique style.) Then arrange the sources in alphabetical order by the authors' LAST names. This means Graves, John L. comes BEFORE Zimmer, Alan.

#8. Revise

Finished with that first draft at last? Great. Save it one last time and leave it alone for a few hours. Go outside and toss a Frisbee, grab a snack in the student lounge, whatever. Then come back and print out your essay. Yes, on paper. Read it ALOUD. Yes, audibly. Any sentence or phrase that causes you to stumble or pause with wrinkled eyebrows needs to be reworked. Mark up any errors you see with a COLORED PEN. Then make the corrections on your computer. Print out a second copy. Have an intelligent friend, roommate, parent or classmate look it over. Make any needed corrections. Print a clean copy for your professor.

Now you should have an essay worthy of grading.